It’s been a month since I’ve been living in Jaco Beach, Costa Rica and wanted to write a nice long update about my adventures so far. But with so much footage and video work I’ve been doing lately, I thought it would be a better idea to complement my thoughts with visuals so you can see for yourself the beauty that is Costa Rica. In my pursuit of happiness, this is my journey to pura vida. Enjoy!
Posts Tagged happiness
[ Written on the Amtrak train from Portland to Sacramento. It is now 10:40 PM PST on Sunday August, 1st and after many days of thought processing, wandering journeys, turning strangers into friends and appreciating the fullness of everyday life, a message on Facebook to inspire me to continue ‘to seek, to strive & to find’ has me pouring these depths of my souls from such interactions into this. ]
Let me tell you about Johann. With the human mind that exists as the vessel that has propelled our society into the modernism we enjoy today, it is a wonder how the manifestation of thought can sometimes be the biggest challenge for this immensely powerful organ. Many times a day I feel restless, other days I feel at the height of mental stimulation with ideas so far along the horizon it is sometimes hard to contain and streamline into anything substantive. In my recent musings, I have a newfound obsession with Johann Gutenberg – the inventor, innovator, thought leader behind the printing press. I cannot imagine what the state of our society would come to without the gift of reading, the precious words without interference of characteristic writing and of course, the contribution in mass production for widespread consumption and equal opportunity. Despite how little history there is left of Johann’s legacy left on earth, I’ve been reading literary works that emphasizes in every case that he was a particular man of perfectionism, a man that wanted to make something of himself for the greater good, through his feelings of universal responsibility. Imagine being in a society where when you were told, “To love the world is to hate God. To create is to accept that God is not perfect, and God is perfect”. And through this he persisted. Johann Gutenberg was a man of the earth and through this gave himself little credit for the invention of the printing press in his name as it was his purpose on earth to create for all to use. I feel inspired and humbled by his journey he took to create one of the greatest inventions of our day through accepting failure and allowing a transient lifestyle to manifest into his visions. “To know what is in you, you must travel elsewhere”.
Removing the forest from our minds. And for this, I feel compelled to withdraw from the demons we have created within the forests of darkness that only exist within our minds. Prior to this leg of the journey, I sat in the kitchen hostel amid leaving the one nation I maintained as my breeding ground for the majority of my human existence, afraid and fearful of the unknown that bewilders beyond my adapted comprehension of said potential torment. While I know that fear was unwarranted, it is one that we ingrain deep within ourselves without cause and to understand the world without fear, is to live without reason. I made the decision to pursue the journey with myself because if the decision doesn’t make me the least bit nervous, then I am perhaps not making the right decision.
The human heart is inherently good. The core of human existence is human interaction, understanding and learning from one another to serve the purpose of your greater existence on earth united by our fears, our aspirations and our visions for a greater good. The only difference is when we try to create & manifest diversity. One of the greatest lessons so far on this trip has been the contestation of a menial, perhaps sometimes equally judgmental question that delves into qualifiers of a person’s life that comes so subconsciously when dealing with new interactions; yielding perceptions of income, residing location, lifestyle without first inquiring about other more conversationally relevant topics. Try meeting someone new and not asking them what it is they do for a career; instead ask what are their interests, what their hobbies are, what inspires them – notice the difference?
Just like that. I see the world in a completely different light, in my own voice, with my own eyes and through my own lens. Miscellaneous encounters of kindness have exceeded my programmed perceptions of society that exists by first impressions, instinctual judgements. My premonitions of potential fear have been unjust and rightfully so. The way I see it, I’ve renewed my outlook on life and given a second chance at humanity, with a greater capacity for unconditional love trading the boundaries of negativity for the fairness and gentility we all deserve to benefit from. And this I trust, can only be done when you are at the point of uttermost independence from the world you are accustomed to, forced to truly trust and believe in the power of sincere human interaction without profit. And to do so, you have to put your mind through the trials of mental and physical loneliness – heightening the voice and taking action to the voice within without the comfort and plague of physical distractions.
Life as a transient. To be fully happy, is to know that despite any circumstance I am satisfied. As a transient, I could not have been happier to travel from Toronto to Costa Rica on my own two feet and the clothes in my backpack. Every day is a day I wake up to appreciating the explorations of new cities, new people, new adventures, discovering lands of water that I feel most at peace with. Hostels are by far the greatest assets for any traveller; at the heart of each new location you are amongst strangers who are not only likely to be in the same situation you are, but will be able to share valuable information about the same travels they’ve encountered perhaps not too long ago. In the last few days, I’ve met more new people than I have chatted with old friends on Facebook, all over different parts of the globe united with the same purpose, in the same community of gaining worldly perspective and internal exhilaration.
We are 95% water, 100% life. A good friend once told me, the water is like a metaphor for life – it flows strong downstream and you can either be a log that flows with it or you can be the rock at the side letting it pass you by as you lie adamant. I want to be one with water, no matter the amount of ripples, the stream will continue to flow with me within it. My life as a solo journeywoman is one that allows me to appreciate the goodness of people, to discover the intricacies of life as we know it and define it within my own individual story of life – I don’t have a sense of temporary illusion of my reality that resists the truth of my life, this is my life and my journey towards ultimate fulfillment.
As I sit here in a hostel in Vancouver before I head into the second leg of my journey traveling through the states as a solo traveler, I can’t help but have feelings of uneasiness, anxiety and fear. I have waited so long to see the wonders of the world from my own eyes at my own pace and on my own time – and here I am, in the face of this new adventure and while I am excited at the thought of new discoveries, I am desperately seeking refuge from doing this alone. They say, the best way to discover yourself is to spend time with yourself – I used to think that I spent a sufficient amount of “alone” time to myself thinking and pondering without external commentaries. Yet, here I am in a situation no different than being beside myself on a regular day in Toronto; only difference now is, I am thousands of miles away from home and feeling disheartened and dejected knowing that in a few hours when I get on a bus from Vancouver to Seattle and check into a hostel, I have no one to rely on but myself. No one I can trust, no friends to turn to, no familiarity to recognize – and that is what I will know to being completely alone. I have barely begun this phase and already feel the intensity associated with the distance from familiarity and accessibility. It is with this that I realize just how dependant I’ve become on instantaneous accessibility to things and people, taking for granted what it means to rely on yourself.
When I break my ankle and need help, who do I turn to? When I need directions to get around, who will I turn to? When I have thoughts on my mind, who will I share them with? Without the certainty to connection, access to networks or people – I am taking the chance to survive in the world that is out there based on the kindness of humans and the networks of backpackers I come across in hostels and in my journeys.
My heart is racing, my emotions are flustered, there are rats running under my feet in this hostel in Vancouver. Tomorrow, I will begin the real journey of mind, body and soul – alone.
From DemoCamp to SurfCamp
Jun 10
Colleague and friend David Crow put it best, this move has me going from corporate web surfing across the world to “real surfing” and ironically as I searched the interwebs for the perfect picture to represent just that, I found this. Conversely, if Microsoft branded surfboards and wanted to sponsor my surfboard for this endeavor, I would be more than happy to replace this picture with that one & surf the coast on it with pride.
Now, this move from one surfing to another, although sounds fairly similar, I’ve isolated a few differences. The benefits of corporate web surfing are abundant in that you never really have to leave your desk, you can essentially surf the world at the comfort of your own home and enjoy the sights of the sea on your screen saver. Where “real surfing” as Jack Johnson so elegantly demonstrates in his music video for “You and Your Heart”, comes associated with dangers leading to dangerously healthy muscular tone.
Albeit, I welcome the challenge the invariable way of life I’ve grown accustomed to my entire life. If the world is my oyster, why am I only swimming in my backyard? The world’s a stage and yet I re-enact the same play over and over again, the one where I know that I will wake up, likely head to work, face a few rough patches leading to working late, head home, grab dinner on the way, check a few emails, walk the dog, check a few emails again, check Facebook/Twitter, watch some TV and then head to bed. Rinse and repeat.
Where’s the active lifestyle? </Insert gym time here>
Where’s the social interaction? </Insert coffee/dinner dates here>
Where’s the relaxing time? </Insert vacation here>
All of which are temporary instantaneous solutions to a much needed lifestyle change. For a short period, I will feel relived, productive, relaxed – then the cycle of spiritual destruction happens again. Kind of like that marketing campaign, with a band-aid solution to get you through to meet your metrics for the year and to get your compensation. In the end, you haven’t fixed a problem it’s still there, just underneath a pretentious solution to make it through to the next milestone until it occurs again. But, it’s still there.
I’m going to stop covering it up. I am going to search crevices deep and wide to find exactly what lies beneath to uncover the internal source of happiness, no matter the cost. I am transitioning from a life and career that are socially accepted and expected successful milestones in this part of my life to one that possess notions of uncertainty, unconventionality all of which my soul urges in hunger for in order to define this thing I call, life.
Word cloud generated by Wordle
But why surfing?
Because of this experience that has allowed me to realize the dynamic power when the human vessel is connected to the strength of our minds. Yet we treat our entire beings everyday like garbage cans – filling it with junk. Letting it overflow until we realize we need to empty it but then it’s too late. It’s attracted the skunks, the raccoons, the maggots that have rotten right over the canister becoming one. It is with this gory amplification needed to demonstrate that we treat our bodies & minds the same way, defining both junk in the foods we eat and the negative interactions that infiltrate our minds. It is for this reason, I am prioritizing the one life, the one body given to me, to a lifestyle that will equally harness the gifts we’ve been given inside & outside our souls to grant myself the ability to live my life in the fullness I aspire to.
And what that, I leave you with Matisyahu’s inspirational, One Day.
In 2009, I fell in love
Dec 31
Last post of 2009.
The year 2009 was the year I woke up. I turned off the autopilot, asked questions, realized the world around me, took chances, created memories, had adventures, strengthened relationships, gained confidence, found forgiveness, believed in love, met amazing people, widened my perspective, opened my heart, laughed more, cried more, lived through new experiences & most of all started my pursuit of happiness.
NYE with the best friend.
This is my last post of 2009 before I head out to Windsor Arms to enjoy the countdown into 2010 with one of my best friends, Rami before he moves back to Lebanon for good. I will enjoy every minute, reminisce the past year & embark on the new journey of 2010. I can only think to myself, how lucky I have been to have started my journey to happiness, found my heart & fell in love with the essence that is, life.
Poetic Confession
And with that, a poetic confession upon my return from Costa Rica this year:
I am in Love
I am in love
In love with the beauty of life
The life where we appreciate
All that is pure
I am in love
In love with Costa Rica
The country where beauty is everywhere
In hearts, mountains, oceans, people
I am in love
In love with love
Where we open our hearts
To all around us without judgement
I am in love with people
The people who have passion
That drive them to limitless potential
To strive for fulfillment in life
I am in love with hearts
The hearts that beam with love
The ones that open up to listen
To love unconditionally us all
I am in love with life
The single one that I own
The one that takes chances to be full
To give meaning, memories, stories
I am in love
In love with everything
In love with all that is pure
Because pura vida is life
Doin’ Costa Rica. Pura Vida.
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. – The Dalai Lama
The physical, emotional & mental turbulence in the last week has left my soul begging for more, raising the standards in my life for experiential living to elevate my pursuit of happiness. My life can no longer be lived at a mediocre standard & habitual routine when there is so much yet to be discovered. Right now, I am in complete withdrawal from my current reality because there is so much of my heart that I have left in Costa Rica. The pureness of life, the separation from materiality, the truth in love & openness of people have left me with a greater expectation of the beauty of life & what I aim to personally achieve.
Relativity
I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It is the ultimate source of success in life. True compassion is universal in scope. It is accompanied by a feeling of responsibility. – The Dalai Lama
Relativity is only as good as your context, your scope of perspective. The more I see, the more I know, the more I know, the more I am certain about life and what is important to me. My scope of perspective now includes that of the beauty, life and love lessons I have learned from Costa Rica. Where physical beauty of the surroundings have maintained much of their aesthetic integrity – so do that of the people who are locals to this, leading brand-less lives focused on pursuing a “pure life” embodying the national mandate for life “Pura Vida”. Everywhere you go, every person you meet, every sight you see – beams happiness & beauty to enjoy and create experiences that formulate memories. I can’t thank Maria Del Mar from Del Mar Surf Camp enough for her hospitality & energetic beauty on this trip that allowed us to witness Costa Rica in this way. In the generation of youth today – we are so privileged to have the ability to travel & see much more that allow us not only to widen our perspective on the way we live our lives, but our notion of possibilities. More than ever, we are empowered with the ability to achieve more, and I plan to make this my life’s mandate. I won’t stop discovering, allowing adrenaline to pump through my core & seeking new challenges as long as I live. It is only in this way that I can uncover the most beautiful things in life that matter to my heart.
Openness
Basically, universal responsibility is the feeling for other people´s suffering just as we feel our own. It is the realization that even our own enemy is motivated by the quest for happiness. We must recognize that all beings want the same thing we want. This is the way to achieve a true understanding, unfettered by artificial consideration. – The Dalai Lama
We often preach “don’t judge a book by its cover” but many times first impressions warrant reinforcing thoughts & stereotypes – but this judgmental filter is one that can be learned to avoid, because it is only in this way that we have the opportunity to discover the real person behind the superficial mask that governs our soul. In parallel, your work doesn’t define who you are, what you believe in and commit to is your truthful beauty formula. To be honest, under normal circumstances I would have not had the opportunity to meet the kinds of people I have on this trip because of the differences in academic, social & professional circles. But, my first observation was that they were all part of an industry that emphasizes physical beauty demanding certain upkeep in their aesthetic appeal, most – models of some sort. Had I maintained ascertain to the stereotypes, I would never have discovered:
- The karate instructor with a passion for love, sense of humor, teaching & watching his students grow
- The compassionate & lively actress from Sudbury with the constant yearning to help others in need
- The motivated youth worker with passion for inspiring the younger generation to their potential
- The aspiring student from Guelph with a strong stance for improving social economic politics
- The fun loving woman from Toronto who only knew happiness & had an open heart for everything around her
Each and every person had a story, an open heart & adventurous soul that fostered and made the experience so much more fulfilling. Although, we were in the land that moralized “pure life”, these people were already so far along their way in exemplifying this.
Fulfillment
To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.- The Dalai Lama
At the end of the day, I went to Costa Rica to challenge myself. This experience is part of a reality show for MuchMusic and the potential backlash having never been on camera before, the uncertainties in my involvement & the impact of the participation were the biggest fears I overcame & increased my level of physical & emotional endurance that I now define as the new standard for my life. I found myself challenged beyond the physical requirement, but mentally I’ve become more open to new experiences & emotionally I’ve learned to open up immensely. Now, everyday feels is like the first day of my life. Every experience is one that brings me closer to what truly defines my happiness. I can now ascertain that nothing makes me happier than pushing myself to sustain physical endurance – I am happiest when I am pumped with adrenaline & challenged to limits supported by my mental endurance. Knowing that my mind is just as strong as my muscle – I know and believe that my perspective on life is one that has certainly evolved & will continue to manifest into a definition of self that I am proud to identify with.
Doin’ Costa Rica
With that I leave you with a photo documentary of some moments & a Spanish rhythm, Suavamente from Elvis Crespo that is immovable in my mind.
Pursuit of Happiness
Oct 27
Since the last time I was here – I’ve been given the opportunity to walk out of my comfort zone and gather a new perspective of life. It’s opened up the scope of realization that my life is but a fragment of the grander scheme of the world that is out there. What took up 80% of my time is now cut down to taking 20% of my time and I am devoting the 80% to what is truly important. In essence, I am slowing down to grow. I want to take the time to learn, to appreciate, to understand myself & those around me. What is important, what is necessary and what is not. In this year alone, I’ve been to Cuba, New York City, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore and know that these experiences have already contributed to my definition of self.
In Cuba – I learned that Che Guevara was a doctor from Argentina who felt so strong about the poverty in Cuba, he devoted his later years to revolutionizing forces against the corrupted Batista regime. He conquered in 1959. He was described as having an “affinity for the poor”.
In New York City – I walked on the soils of Ground Zero, where the World Trade Centers no longer exist from the September 11 attacks; where more than 400 firefighters died while trying to rescue those in the building as it collapsed.
In Hong Kong – I realized the value of having good friends and being a good friend. To have a friend take the time out of their day to show me and my family around for three days was more than I could have asked for.
In Malaysia/Singapore – I spent time with family where nothing was more important than spending time with each other, where the need for materialism and social stature was non-existent. Living within their means meant they had more time to be happy & and more to be happy about. There is so much that is taken for granted, that I take for granted.
And I want to keep being eager, keep continuing to grow.
Don’t be afraid to do what it is that makes you happy.
Sometimes you don’t notice how fast life is passing you by until you take a step away from all of it to realize that you can barely remember any noteworthy memories you’ve created in the last month, last 6 months, last year – you are suffering autopilot syndrome. Life becomes redundant, replayed and predictable – you know there are things you’d “rather” be doing, but always justify that what you are doing now is part of a greater plan – is it? What are you waiting for? The answer to the questions that ask “why” you are doing something is “just because”. You never have “time” to do the things you wished you could do – and then finally, you get burnt out – what actually makes you happy anymore? Where lies that passion for things you once urged to do? Where is that commitment to strive for the things you want without the fear of failure? If there is not a choice that makes me just a little bit nervous to make, I am not making a choice, I am just getting by.
We are driven by fear.
Fear that others won’t respect our decision; fear that we can’t live up to expectations; fear that we might fail or fear that what I find on the other end of the discovery makes me happier than what I am doing now. Having a fear is a normal reaction and to err is only human. The approach to figuring out what it is that actually makes you happy, what actually gets up you in the morning to the beautiful sunrise, to live out your passions is what life is worth living for. To try & fail over and over again, is ten steps closer to discovering my eternal happiness than to avoid doing the hard things and always pondering & never discovering what unleashes the inner ecstasy. I am scared to make decisions, I will fail & I don’t know what comes in store next – but I believe in discovering that internal strength & happiness in this one life even if it means to conquer my fears.
My mandate in life is to find internal happiness in order to evoke happiness onto others.
I used to think that I could find happiness by constantly surrounding myself with things that can make me laugh or smile. But no matter how much externally driven happiness contributes to your happiness, nothing can truly make you happy, but yourself. You physically represent happiness, but are you a ‘happy person’? Would you consider yourself a happy person? If not – why? When you laugh, smile, chuckle or giggle are you really feeling those emotions inside? I want to learn the things that make me truly happy inside & one of those things is helping others find theirs.
Finding that internal happiness through introspective thought & commitment to personal growth
Today is the day I’ve decided to let my thoughts continue to fluster through verbal thought & commit to manuscripting this rebirth of perspective that have been on autopilot the last few months. The clarity achieved through honing down & writing these thoughts down is cathartic. Accompanied by the sultry sound track that is Elliot Yamin – I feel free. I have never felt more comfortable spending time with myself and believe with all my heart that devoting time to yourself in this fast paced society that is a constant engine of superficial purpose – is important when it comes down to understanding the only purpose that matters to me – my happiness. I want to learn, discover & continue this journey of growing as a person, as an independent woman in society by being open to new experiences & letting nothing by my commitment to happiness drive me.
Music is the Happiness Steroid
Theme: Freedom
Sound of Letting Go – David Guetta featuring Chris Willis
Sound of Freedom – Bob Sinclair featuring Dollarman & Gary Pine
Wavin’ Flag - K’naan
Often, we have to be reminded that life is an uncertainty guaranteed by death and taxes, and sometimes it takes a tragic turn of events to realize that perhaps the current course that you are taking in life isn’t what you hoped it would be. The experience in the last few months of my life can be likened to that of a windtunnel, where moments pass you by and before you know it, you’re at the end of the tunnel with memories no more than flashes of instances in time not worth remembering. Living in this “fast paced” generation, working in the technology industry, starting a new career and being recently single certainly didn’t help the cause of complacency and self absorption. Once you are comfortable with what are you are doing, it is so easy to become caught up in the routine without actually considering whether or not they are contributing to your happiness or personal fulfillment. It took monumental turn of events and time to myself to make me realize that I wasn’t living a well balanced life, doing the things that made me truly happy and felt like I would eventually burn out. But what’s truly important in life is taking the time to think to yourself (which I find that majority don’t do often enough) to assess the current situation you are in whether good or bad and make any necessary adjustments. Sometimes these adjustments are easy, sometimes they are hard – but in the end committing to them can be life altering, lest we forget, that we only have one.
So within the last few months, I have set out a plan to do complete a list of “firsts”, seek out more adventures, spend time with myself periodically and sharing them on this blog. Here are a few things so far I can cross off my list:
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- First & Last Mugging & First Time in Police Car
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- First Time Fishing – Caught a large mouth bass with my first cast
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- First Time Camping – Algonquin Park
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- First Time Camping – Walking in the Rapids
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- First Time Riding a Motorcycle
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- First Puppy Portfolio – Momo
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- First Puppy Portfolio – Momo
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- First Puppy Portfolio – My Dog Jojo
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- First Puppy Portfolio- Gigi
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- First Puppy Portfolio – Pomeranian
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- First Flower in the Garden
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- First Art Show – Volunteered
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- First RibFest – Scarborough Rotary
Many times we become prisoner to our technologies, our work and our relationships – and don’t devote enough time to yourselves. In the end, we only have ourselves accountable for the decisions we make, those decisions we don’t make and for me, regretting anything is not an option. So, today’s YouTube link is not a song, but a clip for those of you who spend more time with your cell phones than you do with people (you know who you are).
