It’s almost been more than a month since my last post & I think I’ve eaten the words to my last post, figuratively. The average rate of my online activity has decreased, although I do still average to check it daily – I’ve been able to limit it to just once or twice a day. My conversations are richer, my relationships are stronger & my vivacity for life is so alive. The more I see, the more I do, the smaller my world becomes and the more I feel like I can do. Without stepping outside of your current realm of existence, one can almost feel that the oyster of the world that is out there is so unconquerable, far away, out of reach. When in reality, it is all so obtainable, so alive and eager to be within your existence if you allow it.
En Route to 2010 Vancouver Olympics
As I write this, I am neglecting to pack my luggage for a flight to Vancouver, hopefully to catch the energy that is the 2010 Olympics. I am leaving for a week & have never been more excited for the unexpected. The plane tickets I received were complimentary, and although my destination is defined, the journey is unexpected – and this excites me. For a very long time & some situations now, I am a very calculated person. The default function for any trip was to open an excel document & just start plotting dates against activities, against budget, against everything – just like the scene from Up in the Air where the young Anna stomps away on her keyboard building a plan made of lines and boxes to define a procedure for an industry she has yet to understand. One that might not even be defined within the constructs & confines of boxes & charts. For this trip, there are no excel sheets.
Defining Your Own Pura Vida
In the last few months, while I’ve continuously preached the greatness that is Costa Rica & the beauty behind finding yourself through pura vida – I realized that this journey is mostly mental. Finding pura vida is not the act of something (moving countries, traveling etc) it is a shift of the mind. It is understanding what is truly important to you, what makes you truly happy in your purist form & mentally reinforcing your mind throughout your journey. Many times – we fall and we forget, and then not before long, we realize we’ve fallen asleep in our lives – allowing external factors to define & overpower our inner voices. Find your own pura vida – strive to be the happiest, most honest, most truthful & forgiving person that you can be, at all times.
Reminders to Wake Up
Today, I want to share a few things I’ve come across the last few months that have inspired me in many different ways. My greatest fear is making sure I don’t subconsciously turn on the autopilot syndrome, living day to day, sleeping awake and stories & experiences are important for me to continue to propel forward. Hopefully they do the same for you.
1. Lemonade Movie – It’s not a pink slip. It’s a blank page.
In the mass existence of society, there are players and there are producers. The world is your stage, your oyster, at your disposal – because we live in a generation of possibilities and opportunities allowing for the greatest degree of existentialism. Yet, we barely consider the effort to construct reality according to what we aspire to be the true representations of our individualism. Instead, we live our realities in the context of simulated reality – defined as a conscious state of mind that is indistinguishable from “true reality”, so unimaginative that one may not even know their lives are within this simulation – meet Truman.
But – my name is Angie. And this is my show. Every element that exists in my life will be questioned and challenged to allow myself to quest for further perfection in this journey of personal pursuit. Without asking these questions, I am but a fragment of existence that is colourless, convenient, safe, expendable, monotonous, bland, unimaginable…. lost.
I am the producer of my own life. So I am cutting out the featureless scenes where I am hopelessly lost.
CUT #1: Lost in Artificial Transactions “Hi, how are you? Great, nice to see you – but let me check my phone 100 times during our conversation.”
I truly believe that at the core of every human existence, is human interaction. We grow from others; we learn from others, we are inspired by others. So why do we have surface level conversations? Why is it that every conversation feels like a key networking opportunity for business? Why is it that conversations feel like a hidden agenda is in place? Why is that when conversations occur, we devalue the importance of that time with the other person and make it necessary to check our mobile devices to check on interactions with others who aren’t physically there? When did it occur that we would rather check transactional texts, Facebook notifications, tweets and emails from others when we have the opportunity to fully appreciate the stories of others who value us enough to take time to personally meet you? We are lost in the challenge of genuine human communication that allows us to discover who we really are when we openly talk about ourselves to those who are physically, mentally & emotionally present.
CUT #2: Lost in Monotonous Relationships Relationships are not spectator sports. Don’t get into one expecting to be a passive player, you end up losing. Friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, fiancés, marriages are all higher level commitments to another person & making that conscious commitment means that you have a bond with that other person you find of value. In this valuation, how do you define the strengthening of a relationship with that other person? Do you know what it is that creates the harmony, why you relate to this person, and what you can do to make it dynamic? Like any other facet of your life, you make a commitment to something & work to make it the best it can be. Being in a relationship that is tied down by the mere titled commitment is more condemning than being free and seizing other opportunities for interaction. We are lost in the way that we let our love & mind love those who are valuable to us. Let your actions speak louder than your words – if you have a romantic relationship with someone else; is your heart & mind fully committed to making that other person feel the way they should feel in the relationship? Or is the relationship an existent one out of comfort or fear of losing the predictability? Don’t lose yourself in the idea of the relationship; lose yourself in the passion that creates the moments that make the relationship special.
CUT #3: Lost in Habitual Routines Wake up, have breakfast, go to work, go to the gym/mall/home, have dinner, sleep. Rinse & repeat.
In some variation or the other, we all go through the daily motions of a routine that may or may not be the idealistic epitome of our lives. Wishing at various points of another that we could be learning or doing something different, but can’t or rather – won’t. “I wish I could play a musical instrument”, “I wish I could speak another language” it’s often that we just leave this aspiration as a thought instead of asking ourselves, “Why the heck not?” When we say “I don’t have time” or “I wish I could”, we are really saying “I prefer to stick to what I am doing” or “I would rather not bother my convenience”. We are lost in the comfort in our lives that hinder the ambition & passion we have for things that ultimately add value to the definition of who we are. With work maintaining a large portion of our lives every day, unless what you do is certainly your passion, we can quickly lose the definition of who we are in what we do.
CUT #4: Lost in Superficial Importance & Unspoken Expectations Accept everything, question everything.
Within the society of ‘isms’ – materialism, consumerism, capitalism & socialism, there are many unspoken expectations formulating social norms driving the way we operate. But consider another ‘ism’ – individualism as one that is often advocated but never celebrated. We often point out that it is important to be individualistic & maintain self confidence in who we are, but when someone tests the boundaries of unspoken expectations, it is questioned & found odd, because we are programmed to accept certain things as normal. For example, no one ever thinks to go to a movie alone, if you do – you’re seen as odd. But why does it matter? If I want to see a movie & no one happens to want to see that movie or is available, why can I not go about it alone? Or if I decide that maybe I don’t want to pursue a post secondary education after high school, the unspoken expectation whether from society, your parents or peers, is that you should. Many people do automatically progress from high school to post secondary, but is it always the right thing? Have you considered what you would do & whether it would make sense in the course of your life? Consequently, why do we have the things we have? When we live above our means, do we stop to question, whether we really need a Mini Cooper S class if we can only really afford a used Toyota Corolla? What are the reasons behind your decisions whether they are for material items or education? We are lost in the society of consuming that we never stop to think why? Are your reasons motivated by ego or by passion? Are you living at the rate of which is complimentary in your life or are you pursuing one that is barely yours to define?
So, if your life were a trailer – what would it look like? Would people come watch?
How do you grow when you stay in the one place that makes you feel safe? If a decision doesn’t make me feel remote nervous making it, I am not making the right decision. Think twice about everything you do. Ask yourself if there is an opportunity to be happier & fulfilled in what you do. And if the answer is “Yes, there is” – why not?
Doin’ Costa Rica: Don’t Break My Strings… Please
I will end this completely long winded post of verbal masturbation with a short clip from my time in Costa Rica that showcases a different side of me – one that is intoxicated by the venom created by music that creates a natural high for life. Thank god this isn’t an audition tape for ‘So You Think You Can Dance Canada’.
Final Thought
The lost feather floats in the sky & the lonely orphan sits in the center, both waiting to be found and bought into the context of love. Your pursuit of happiness is a right; an entity waiting to be found, it is a privilege to have as a constant in your life, but are you looking for it? How important is it to you if you ignore its value in the context of your life.
With everything else in your life, ‘find & replace’ is an automatic course of action. With happiness lost? Eager to find and replace it again? Or maybe discover it for the first time? Will you spend the time to search for it?
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. – The Dalai Lama
The physical, emotional & mental turbulence in the last week has left my soul begging for more, raising the standards in my life for experiential living to elevate my pursuit of happiness. My life can no longer be lived at a mediocre standard & habitual routine when there is so much yet to be discovered. Right now, I am in complete withdrawal from my current reality because there is so much of my heart that I have left in Costa Rica. The pureness of life, the separation from materiality, the truth in love & openness of people have left me with a greater expectation of the beauty of life & what I aim to personally achieve.
Relativity
I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It is the ultimate source of success in life. True compassion is universal in scope. It is accompanied by a feeling of responsibility. – The Dalai Lama
Relativity is only as good as your context, your scope of perspective. The more I see, the more I know, the more I know, the more I am certain about life and what is important to me. My scope of perspective now includes that of the beauty, life and love lessons I have learned from Costa Rica. Where physical beauty of the surroundings have maintained much of their aesthetic integrity – so do that of the people who are locals to this, leading brand-less lives focused on pursuing a “pure life” embodying the national mandate for life “Pura Vida”. Everywhere you go, every person you meet, every sight you see – beams happiness & beauty to enjoy and create experiences that formulate memories. I can’t thank Maria Del Mar from Del Mar Surf Camp enough for her hospitality & energetic beauty on this trip that allowed us to witness Costa Rica in this way. In the generation of youth today – we are so privileged to have the ability to travel & see much more that allow us not only to widen our perspective on the way we live our lives, but our notion of possibilities. More than ever, we are empowered with the ability to achieve more, and I plan to make this my life’s mandate. I won’t stop discovering, allowing adrenaline to pump through my core & seeking new challenges as long as I live. It is only in this way that I can uncover the most beautiful things in life that matter to my heart.
Openness
Basically, universal responsibility is the feeling for other people´s suffering just as we feel our own. It is the realization that even our own enemy is motivated by the quest for happiness. We must recognize that all beings want the same thing we want. This is the way to achieve a true understanding, unfettered by artificial consideration. – The Dalai Lama
We often preach “don’t judge a book by its cover” but many times first impressions warrant reinforcing thoughts & stereotypes – but this judgmental filter is one that can be learned to avoid, because it is only in this way that we have the opportunity to discover the real person behind the superficial mask that governs our soul. In parallel, your work doesn’t define who you are, what you believe in and commit to is your truthful beauty formula. To be honest, under normal circumstances I would have not had the opportunity to meet the kinds of people I have on this trip because of the differences in academic, social & professional circles. But, my first observation was that they were all part of an industry that emphasizes physical beauty demanding certain upkeep in their aesthetic appeal, most – models of some sort. Had I maintained ascertain to the stereotypes, I would never have discovered:
The karate instructor with a passion for love, sense of humor, teaching & watching his students grow
The compassionate & lively actress from Sudbury with the constant yearning to help others in need
The motivated youth worker with passion for inspiring the younger generation to their potential
The aspiring student from Guelph with a strong stance for improving social economic politics
The fun loving woman from Toronto who only knew happiness & had an open heart for everything around her
Each and every person had a story, an open heart & adventurous soul that fostered and made the experience so much more fulfilling. Although, we were in the land that moralized “pure life”, these people were already so far along their way in exemplifying this.
Fulfillment
To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.- The Dalai Lama
At the end of the day, I went to Costa Rica to challenge myself. This experience is part of a reality show for MuchMusic and the potential backlash having never been on camera before, the uncertainties in my involvement & the impact of the participation were the biggest fears I overcame & increased my level of physical & emotional endurance that I now define as the new standard for my life. I found myself challenged beyond the physical requirement, but mentally I’ve become more open to new experiences & emotionally I’ve learned to open up immensely. Now, everyday feels is like the first day of my life. Every experience is one that brings me closer to what truly defines my happiness. I can now ascertain that nothing makes me happier than pushing myself to sustain physical endurance – I am happiest when I am pumped with adrenaline & challenged to limits supported by my mental endurance. Knowing that my mind is just as strong as my muscle – I know and believe that my perspective on life is one that has certainly evolved & will continue to manifest into a definition of self that I am proud to identify with.
Doin’ Costa Rica
With that I leave you with a photo documentary of some moments & a Spanish rhythm, Suavamente from Elvis Crespo that is immovable in my mind.
