Let’s be honest and ask ourselves…

How many times have we sat at our desks, turned on our laptops or cell phones & mindlessly hovered over to the applications that pose no necessary importance or time sensitivity? How many times on weekends, vacations, essentially non work times do we check Facebook, Twitter or Email? Even when the interactions are not expected of us, we have a sense of dependence to maintain interactions with them. 95% of people on vacation check their email at least once, when we have a major deadline coming up, no matter how hard we try – it’s always a “quick check” of our online social spaces … Why?

How many times have we sat in conversations with others over drinks or dinner & while in mid conversation, mentally drift off into space thinking about who might be “poking” you on Facebook, responded to a tweet or maybe emailed you? Even when the person sitting across from us has taken the time to meet us with their physical presence, we value the surface level depth of conversation that is demanded of us in the virtual space. We’ve all done this before, and I’ve talked about this in a previous blog post as being “lost in artificial transactions” and somehow we manage to check the devices at least twice during the conversation … Why?

How many times have we met someone new, started a dating situation or even with lifelong friends have been unnecessarily frustrated over their slow instant message response time? Even when there is an ability to call, you send a text and expect the other person to respond in an appropriately instantaneous manner. Yet, if it was so important, we don’t call. We place so much emphasis on the instantaneous nature of text messages that we tend to check our screens several times over before we become so frustrated & value the relationship based on their instant messaging interactivity… Why?

There are more buttons here than on your face.

Jerry Seinfeld describes this scenario best with his interview on Conan O’Brien. “So is it true you don’t own a Blackberry? Oh no. I find that Blackberry people, their eyes, their pupils don’t focus… they always hold it in their hand, because that is what Blackberry commands them to do. And they listen to what you’re saying & they compare to what is on the Blackberry – which is more really more interesting here. I think there is more buttons here than on your face.”

But I’m Human in a Digital World.

At what point did our electronic devices become emotionally attached to our subconscious that requires more thought & attention than that of a newborn? When did we accept that the quantity of our online interactions were more important than the quality of our physical ones? And when did it become a negatively social practice to have delayed responses to text messages when there is no intention to place a phone call?

I’ve added the movie poster for the newly released theatre hit Avatar, because it sends a similar message in an awe inspiring way. A message about the beauty of a world so far from our advancement in technology; but when we watch this movie, we can’t help but be envious of the free spirited nature & connection with ourselves that the Na’vi possess – and for good reason.

But, it is because you are human that you possess the following qualities related to digital interactions – easily summarized in four e’s:

We all have a sense of ego: Showcasing status updates according to self defining tasks a day instils a sense of status, accomplishment, pride. Each time you update a status, a tweet, further enhances the image of reputation that you are coming to define – your virtual identity.  Most times, these updates/posts possess little to no self deprecating commentary positioning the ego in a desirable state.

We aim to maintain our sense of existence: With increased abilities to become “famous”, leaving your mark on the digital world has become much more accessible with “Internet Celebritcism” according to your niche. Telling others what we are doing, not only documents our accomplishments appealing to our sense of ego, but ensures that we are not left out of the conversation, belonging to a community, essentially building our prominent virtual existence.

We want to exercise our abilities: Once we become accustomed to the routine of touching, checking, tapping, unlocking our phones, the habit then becomes just that. There may not be of any obvious reason (ie incoming text, call etc) but just the act of ensuring our phone continues to live online, “checks us into” the digital world & certifies that we are doing any necessary damage control if needed & are alive and well in that realm.

We live in a realm of digital ecstasy: At what other point in your life can you define how people perceive you? First impressions are based on your hand picked avatar cropped and brushed to perfection. Your status updates are comments that you selectively garner that best represent your ideal character. The links on your twitter account are those that show you possess the knowledge & go to repository for all things relevant to your field. The digital world can sometimes pose as preferable to that of the real world because you have the time & ability to create the perception of self you desire.

Stop Pretending to be “Crazy Busy” and Start Living.

Edward Hallowell, author of “Crazy Busy” offers the explanation for the phenomenon of continued dependencies on electronic devices as a need to being perceptually busy. He explains that the generally accepted notion indicates that the busier you are the more enlightened life you lead. Indefinitely, the technology we’ve invented improves our human connections, and does not replace them. But it is when we let our electronic devices – and what he describes as a “curious magnetism” they exert upon our minds, that take control of us, forces us to consume more information & data points than necessary. They take over our lives & create the negative energy flow that causes more stress than improvement.

What I like about Edward Hallowell’s book is that he crafts terms for seen behaviours with very obvious symptoms we can all identify with. Here are the top 13 relating to our busy lives in the digital world.

Which ones do you find yourself guilty of on a day to day basis?

1)      Screensucking – Wasting time engaging with any screen (TV, video game, television, phone etc). How much time a day do you spend facing a screen?

2)      Leeches – Things/people that try to take your time away. How much time do you spend trying to make a failed project/engage in useless online interactions succeed?

3)      Email voice (EMV) – The tone of a person when they are reading email while talking to you on the phone. Many of you are guilty of this, but what you don’t realize is how much you are devaluing the conversation & relationship with the other person on the phone.

4)      Gigaguilt – The more storage you can keep (hence, gigabytes), the more you are expected to track/remember. Keeping track of everything is impossible and having time to please everyone is equally impossible.

5)      Kudzu – Clutter & piles that invade where we work or live, specifically email that we leave in our inboxes instead of deleting or moving to a folder because you’ll “come back later” when you never do.

6)      Junk Time – A person who spends time without intending to leaving insufficient time for what really needs to be done on thing such as instant messaging, celebrity news, voicemail, long winded people etc

7)      Telephone Tag – Resulting in no one wanting to pick up calls and calls back later

8)      Conversation Interruptus – Extended conversations have become a rare entity because of external electronic distractions

9)      Info Addict – Loses his/her ability to make a difference in life by trying so hard to keep up with all the differences other people are making, reading too much information not necessarily important all the time

10)   Human Moments vs. Electronic Moments – Human moments are increasing been replaced by electronic moments, less time is spent & preferred in each other’s physical presence  because electronic is hugely efficient, rapid and easy

11)   Pizzled – Combination of pissed off & puzzled when someone, without either asking permission or providing explanation brings out his/her cell phone to make a call or answer a call while you are together

12)   Fuhgeddomania – Forgetfulness and losing things are derived from data overload without structure in the environment (add lists, reminders)

========================

So what are ya waiting for?

Stop Clicking & Start Living.

Tags: busy, edward hallowell, Life, start living, stop clicking