The year 2009 was the year I woke up. I turned off the autopilot, asked questions, realized the world around me, took chances, created memories, had adventures, strengthened relationships, gained confidence, found forgiveness, believed in love, met amazing people, widened my perspective, opened my heart, laughed more, cried more, lived through new experiences & most of all started my pursuit of happiness.
NYE with the best friend.
This is my last post of 2009 before I head out to Windsor Arms to enjoy the countdown into 2010 with one of my best friends, Rami before he moves back to Lebanon for good. I will enjoy every minute, reminisce the past year & embark on the new journey of 2010. I can only think to myself, how lucky I have been to have started my journey to happiness, found my heart & fell in love with the essence that is, life.
Just short of a month ago, I returned from a vacation in Costa Rica where I discovered that my passion for board sports extends beyond just the snowboarding kind and into surfing. But many of the questions I’ve been getting have been about where and how this all came about – the cameras, the trip, this once in a lifetime opportunity. So here is my story.
In October, MuchMusic blogged about a chance to take part in a surf adventure in Costa Rica, then called “It’s a Shore Thing”. It was a contest and generally, I hardly partake in contests because a) what are the chances you’d win? b) you spend lots of time on your submission and if you don’t win, it feels like a big waste of time and c) Is this for real? Will I really get to win a full, all expense paid trip to Costa Rica with no commitment?
But Screw It. Why Not?
After my latest blog post on seizing the day & creating memories in this lifetime, I decided I was going to do it. I wanted this, I am going to do it. Only the Do-ers Can Preach. So I did. On October 28th, I headed to a friend’s new acquired web agency, Jet Cooper to film my video with the help of good friend Kenway Du & made the video in 15 minutes flat just in time before our weekly Improv class. And that was that. The next evening after a few small edits to the video, it was submitted with MuchMusic just 15 minutes before the deadline. The fate of my trip to Costa Rica was now in the hands of the producers. Naturally, I had no expectations, so that the margin for disappointment would be much less.
The Interview.
A few days later, I got a call from Ken from MuchMusic after work. I was to come into do an on camera interview. I’ve always been a “behind the scenes” type of person, producing/directing a musical in high school, managing a theatre production in university & loved taking videos of others. Not myself. So when the call came around, I was a little nervous to present myself on camera to say the least. But funny enough, even after the one hour interview on camera talking about my life, my inhibitions, my expectations – it never sank in that I would be on a reality show. I really just wanted to surf.
The Call.
“You’re Going to Costa Rica”. The first thing I thought was “I am going to learn to surf & replace my summer blues from snowboarding with this!”. The entire experience before arriving at Costa Rica was just like any other vacation. Arriving at the airport, meeting the other contestants, checking in, sitting in a shuttle bus for hours before coming to the surf camp and then, the moment that made it all real – the cameras were on. Right when we arrived at Del Mar Surf Camp, there they were – the cameras, the lights, the crew surrounding your every move.
Reality
Definitely one of the many concerns I had about participating in this show was the fear of what this would do to my image, my sense of self & my identity. One of the many caveats of reality TV is the power of video editing & creating a character that could be completely opposite from a person’s true self. But I had no intention of becoming an on camera personality, a TV personality and told myself, as long as I remained true to myself & my intentions, that is the only personality that they can portray. With that in mind, no matter what happens, this experience was for myself. I never wanted to look back & say “I wished I did it”. I did it. This is a part of who I am & will always remain – but I believe that I did it all for the right intentions with nothing I will ever regret.
And So.. I “Did Costa Rica”.
And here it is. The show is here today – “Doin’ Costa Rica” on Tuesday, December 29 @ 8pm ET, December 30 @ 5pm ET and January 3 @ 7pm ET. There was no pre-screening, no approvals, no said direction of the nature of the show. I took this chance, I discovered Pura Vida, I met amazing people, I surfed, I fell in love with Costa Rica, I found beauty… I lived.
Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve been working on a small project. A project that reflects what I believe to be the essence of the holiday season we have all come to love – Giving. We give presents to our loved ones to see their smiles when they receive it; we give our time when we visit & enjoy egg nog with those we care about & we give our hearts when we open our arms & pockets to those in need this season.
It is the associated feeling with giving that makes the experience all more enjoyable. When one fully gives from the heart without intention, without expectations it is then that is truly a gesture of the soul. When we give a smile to a stranger, give a thought, give a non material item that requires more than a donation of a physical dollar, it is then that I feel we are opening our hearts to give. To me, giving is non consequential, non eventful, receives no personal gain.
Giving is not an act – it is a way of life, a mentality, a lifestyle.
The Brainstorming Behind #GiveaBuck
So as soon as Dan Demsky from The Biz Media fielded the question on Twitter: “What would you all like for the holidays from #thebizmedia?” I knew this was an opportunity to send the message about giving to the world with an awesome videography team to support the initiative (and all for free, can you believe?!)
We wanted something that would send the message. How can we inspire others to internalize the concept of giving is non material or passive? Giving with a purpose, with thought. And so with the combined minds of myself, Darius Bashar, Andrew Peek & the Biz Media Boys (Dan & Justin) we came up with #GiveaBuck (www.giveabuck.ca).
Here is short (unedited) video that features how this video concept came to life & the inspiration behind it [in the video: myself, Dan Demsky, Nate Kogan & Darius Bashar (cameraman)]
Changing the way we think about others. It’s easy to donate a physical dollar without thought, without concern for the recipient. But what if I told you:
This buck is a thought, the inspiration – the moment in your day that you are thinking about someone else other than yourself & following through with it. There is no charity associated, no actual money is being collected. But hey, if you do see that person you want to give a thought to & finding yourself carrying and extra dollar, why not?
In the remaining days of 2009, let’s see how many times we can spend a thought on someone else other than ourselves.
To the Streets
With inspiration from Post Secret we went to the streets to create one of our own with the people of Toronto. Initially, the experience was daunting. Almost every single person was avoiding us because of the cold, the cameras or the courage to be on film. But after going back into the Biz Media loft to get a lapel mic to replace the boom mic, our second round of efforts seem to be quite successful & we were able to get many great responses & smiles from the people of Toronto.
All the fantastic photos on the site were taken by the fabulous photographer – Nate Kogan. This man behind the camera is truly an artist.
The Result: #GiveABuck
So here it is. The final result. We hope you enjoy & visit us at (#GiveABuck) giveabuck.ca to find out how you can participate to tell us who you’re thinking about this holiday season and why.
And as an added incentive, if we get 1000 tweets (hashtag: #giveabuck) I will do a polar bear swim in the new year with (Darius Bashar & Andrew Peek) anyone else in the community who is willing to donate a polar bear swim to this initiative. How’s that for cold?
In the mass existence of society, there are players and there are producers. The world is your stage, your oyster, at your disposal – because we live in a generation of possibilities and opportunities allowing for the greatest degree of existentialism. Yet, we barely consider the effort to construct reality according to what we aspire to be the true representations of our individualism. Instead, we live our realities in the context of simulated reality – defined as a conscious state of mind that is indistinguishable from “true reality”, so unimaginative that one may not even know their lives are within this simulation – meet Truman.
But – my name is Angie. And this is my show. Every element that exists in my life will be questioned and challenged to allow myself to quest for further perfection in this journey of personal pursuit. Without asking these questions, I am but a fragment of existence that is colourless, convenient, safe, expendable, monotonous, bland, unimaginable…. lost.
I am the producer of my own life. So I am cutting out the featureless scenes where I am hopelessly lost.
CUT #1: Lost in Artificial Transactions “Hi, how are you? Great, nice to see you – but let me check my phone 100 times during our conversation.”
I truly believe that at the core of every human existence, is human interaction. We grow from others; we learn from others, we are inspired by others. So why do we have surface level conversations? Why is it that every conversation feels like a key networking opportunity for business? Why is it that conversations feel like a hidden agenda is in place? Why is that when conversations occur, we devalue the importance of that time with the other person and make it necessary to check our mobile devices to check on interactions with others who aren’t physically there? When did it occur that we would rather check transactional texts, Facebook notifications, tweets and emails from others when we have the opportunity to fully appreciate the stories of others who value us enough to take time to personally meet you? We are lost in the challenge of genuine human communication that allows us to discover who we really are when we openly talk about ourselves to those who are physically, mentally & emotionally present.
CUT #2: Lost in Monotonous Relationships Relationships are not spectator sports. Don’t get into one expecting to be a passive player, you end up losing. Friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, fiancés, marriages are all higher level commitments to another person & making that conscious commitment means that you have a bond with that other person you find of value. In this valuation, how do you define the strengthening of a relationship with that other person? Do you know what it is that creates the harmony, why you relate to this person, and what you can do to make it dynamic? Like any other facet of your life, you make a commitment to something & work to make it the best it can be. Being in a relationship that is tied down by the mere titled commitment is more condemning than being free and seizing other opportunities for interaction. We are lost in the way that we let our love & mind love those who are valuable to us. Let your actions speak louder than your words – if you have a romantic relationship with someone else; is your heart & mind fully committed to making that other person feel the way they should feel in the relationship? Or is the relationship an existent one out of comfort or fear of losing the predictability? Don’t lose yourself in the idea of the relationship; lose yourself in the passion that creates the moments that make the relationship special.
CUT #3: Lost in Habitual Routines Wake up, have breakfast, go to work, go to the gym/mall/home, have dinner, sleep. Rinse & repeat.
In some variation or the other, we all go through the daily motions of a routine that may or may not be the idealistic epitome of our lives. Wishing at various points of another that we could be learning or doing something different, but can’t or rather – won’t. “I wish I could play a musical instrument”, “I wish I could speak another language” it’s often that we just leave this aspiration as a thought instead of asking ourselves, “Why the heck not?” When we say “I don’t have time” or “I wish I could”, we are really saying “I prefer to stick to what I am doing” or “I would rather not bother my convenience”. We are lost in the comfort in our lives that hinder the ambition & passion we have for things that ultimately add value to the definition of who we are. With work maintaining a large portion of our lives every day, unless what you do is certainly your passion, we can quickly lose the definition of who we are in what we do.
CUT #4: Lost in Superficial Importance & Unspoken Expectations Accept everything, question everything.
Within the society of ‘isms’ – materialism, consumerism, capitalism & socialism, there are many unspoken expectations formulating social norms driving the way we operate. But consider another ‘ism’ – individualism as one that is often advocated but never celebrated. We often point out that it is important to be individualistic & maintain self confidence in who we are, but when someone tests the boundaries of unspoken expectations, it is questioned & found odd, because we are programmed to accept certain things as normal. For example, no one ever thinks to go to a movie alone, if you do – you’re seen as odd. But why does it matter? If I want to see a movie & no one happens to want to see that movie or is available, why can I not go about it alone? Or if I decide that maybe I don’t want to pursue a post secondary education after high school, the unspoken expectation whether from society, your parents or peers, is that you should. Many people do automatically progress from high school to post secondary, but is it always the right thing? Have you considered what you would do & whether it would make sense in the course of your life? Consequently, why do we have the things we have? When we live above our means, do we stop to question, whether we really need a Mini Cooper S class if we can only really afford a used Toyota Corolla? What are the reasons behind your decisions whether they are for material items or education? We are lost in the society of consuming that we never stop to think why? Are your reasons motivated by ego or by passion? Are you living at the rate of which is complimentary in your life or are you pursuing one that is barely yours to define?
So, if your life were a trailer – what would it look like? Would people come watch?
How do you grow when you stay in the one place that makes you feel safe? If a decision doesn’t make me feel remote nervous making it, I am not making the right decision. Think twice about everything you do. Ask yourself if there is an opportunity to be happier & fulfilled in what you do. And if the answer is “Yes, there is” – why not?
Doin’ Costa Rica: Don’t Break My Strings… Please
I will end this completely long winded post of verbal masturbation with a short clip from my time in Costa Rica that showcases a different side of me – one that is intoxicated by the venom created by music that creates a natural high for life. Thank god this isn’t an audition tape for ‘So You Think You Can Dance Canada’.
Final Thought
The lost feather floats in the sky & the lonely orphan sits in the center, both waiting to be found and bought into the context of love. Your pursuit of happiness is a right; an entity waiting to be found, it is a privilege to have as a constant in your life, but are you looking for it? How important is it to you if you ignore its value in the context of your life.
With everything else in your life, ‘find & replace’ is an automatic course of action. With happiness lost? Eager to find and replace it again? Or maybe discover it for the first time? Will you spend the time to search for it?
Interesting conference in Copenhagen on May 30-31 for entrepreneurs. Anyone else going to #Rebuild21? Disclaimer: Tweeting for free ticket!06:19:07 AM May 10, 2012from web
In the Spirit of Giving
So here it is. The final result. We hope you enjoy & visit us at (#GiveABuck) giveabuck.ca to find out how you can participate to tell us who you’re thinking about this holiday season and why.
